Flipping A Bitch

Photo by Ben O’Sullivan on Unsplash

I was somewhere in Westchester yesterday when I wound up getting lost. Getting lost in a tractor trailer is a unique experience because it’s usually difficult to pull into a gas station and ask for directions. This is why you’ll usually see truck drivers making drastic maneuvers like leaving the truck in the turning lane with the four ways flashing while we go in search of valuable information.

I happened to see another trucker sitting on the side of the shoulder, so I figured this’d be the perfect opportunity to find out where the hell I was. Maybe even get an idea on how to get where I was trying to go.

This other trucker, in addition to referring to me as “son” — it’s been awhile since that’s happened — advised me that I should go down to the next exit and “flip a bitch.” I pretended like I knew what he was talking about and walked back to my truck. It only took a minute for me to realize that he was telling me to make a U-turn. That was the first time I came in contact with that particular colloquialism.

It did, however, make me think. Was he referring to it as a “bitch” because it was such a difficult thing to do? This was entirely possible. If you don’t drive a truck for a living, you would never know this, but having to turn around after missing an address is a major undertaking. There have been times where I’ve had to go ten miles in each direction just to find a safe place to do it. That, of course, is a bitch.

As I continued to drive, I then began to wonder if it the expression was derived from some kind of misogynistic source. You know, like the boorish or asinine version of “it’s a woman’s prerogative to change her mind.” It was interesting to ponder. Although, it is sexist if that is the case.

I am a man and I change my mind quite often. Take the other day for example. I was convinced that I was still in love with my ex-girlfriend. It was a lovely thought. Could you imagine? The answer to my great search for love was right there in front of me. It would be so easy and so convenient.

The problem with that has been revealed to me as I pound away at the fifth chapter of my upcoming book. When, as writers, we are faced with the difficult task of having to relive periods of our life for the purpose of relaying important ideas to others, it becomes impossible to fool ourselves for very long. It has the same effect as the Facebook memories function — but to the 10th power.

And so, while on Wednesday I may have believed that I was still madly in love, today I realize that I just have Platonic feelings for her. Profound and loving, but Platonic. You might say I flipped a bitch.

Flipping A Bitch was originally published in P.S. I Love You on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

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